That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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