was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize