i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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