two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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