Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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