I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize