I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize