help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize