I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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