As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
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