I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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