so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
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he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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