last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize