Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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