That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize