you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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