Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize