It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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