The maid of honor just puked.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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