I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize