hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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