I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize