She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
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Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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