4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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