You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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