i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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