So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize