why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize