There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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