she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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