Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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