How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
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I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
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Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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