And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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