What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if only i could text you this smell
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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