it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have already put on my inside pants.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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