Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
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The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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