I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize