I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize