I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize