i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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