i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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