This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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