Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize