Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize