What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize