His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
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Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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