no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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