Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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