we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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