he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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