no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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