Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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