It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Couch. On fire.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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