either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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